The procedure took less than 30 minutes. I’m home in no pain currently; I’m sure that will change when the local wears off.
I forgot to take the Valium (damn!), but I guess I didn’t need it. I got a prescription for Vicodin, so I can fall even further down the road to chemical dependency. I’ll try not to take any; hopefully Extra Strength Tylenol will be enough.
The only disconcerting part of the procedure was the smell of something burning. That something was me as the ends of the vas deferens were sealed. I didn’t feel anything and I couldn’t see the doctor applying the soldering iron to my most delicate area, but intellectually I knew what was up.
As for what happens to the semen, it gets broken down and absorbed in the body.
At one point, there was a change in shift for the assisting nurse. The change led to these comments:
Assisting Nurse: I assume if you had fantasies of two women administering to that area, it did not look like this.
Me: The costumes were different.
Included in the post procedure instructions was the fact that it will take approximately 20 ejaculations to flush out any semen remaining downstream of the vasectomy (samples at 6 and 8 weeks will also be taken to ensure I am no longer firing live rounds). So basically I have a doctor's note to jerk off. I don’t know what kind of countdown clock I’m going to use, but whatever it is, it will have to be something benign enough to avoid an explanation to the four year old daughter.