Ted Knight/Judge Elihu Smails - Phil Morris
The go to beaugois black guy, last seen as the foil to Wanda Sykes in her short lived sitcom.
Chevy Chase/Ty Webb - Damon Wayans
Samuel L. Jackson should own this role, but he wouldn't take it, considering the movie would be packed with athlete and rapper cameos. Now that My Wife & Kids is cancelled, Damon has some time on his hands. He would have to play it straight though; I still don't forgive him for ruining Bamboozled.
Michael O'Keefe/Danny Noonan - Nick Cannon
I think he is still young looking enough to play a teenager. And as Dave Chappelle's son knows, he's hilarious.
Rodney Dangerfield/Al Czervik - Busta Rhymes
Unlike, for example, L. L. Cool J, who is equal parts actor and rapper, Busta is a rapper first. He can act a little though; his performance in Finding Forrester was credible. He could easily play the over the top blinged out rapper who joins the club, annoying the more conservative members.
Bill Murray/Carl Spackler - Mike Epps
Another role that should go to someone else (Dave Chappelle could just reprise his role in Undercover Brother and clean up, but I would be too afraid he would leave halfway through filming to get his head right in Somalia). Since Mike is contractually obligated to appear in every black ensemble cast, I'll put him here.
Of course, there would be scenes that would make me squirm in my seat:
- The Escalade golf cart with spinning rims
- The video hoochie selling Kool-Aid, shots of Hennessey and White Owl cigars out of the beverage cart. Or worse, Moniqué manning the beverage cart
- Everyone showing up to the movie ending golf battle wearing red shirts and black pants, like Tiger Woods
When it movie comes out, I’ll cry. The only way it could be worse is if the announcer says ‘From the producers of Soul Plane’ during the commercial.