4.08.2005

Not dead yet

Yesterday for me was chock full of action. My wife and I went to a funeral for a member of her family in the morning. Later in the day, we submitted a bid for a new home. Those two things are don’t seem to have anything to do with each other, but they do.

During the reception after the funeral, family and friends made comments about the deceased’s life and what he meant to them. I started welling up during the more emotional speeches, and I couldn’t understand why. Later I realized, listening to family and friends tearfully speak about their passed loved one, I am afraid of dying. Not as much out of fear of death, but more out of fear of breaking the hearts of loved ones by dying.

If I died while I was single, while I assume my family would be upset, no one would be without a provider or a parent or a partner. I’ve screwed part of that up by getting married. If/when we move to a new (bigger) home, it would mean a larger financial responsibility. I can’t up and quit my job without negatively affecting my wife. I certainly can’t up and die. And heaven forbid we have kids, then I am stuck having to stay alive.

We will return to your normal opinionated mostly sports related postings later.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dude, no one with a wife and/or kids should be walking around without comprehensive life insurance.